Don't Diss Courage

In my last post, I talked about my NaNo novel from 2912 (more like 2012), titled Times. I talked about how it was poorly written. I want to talk about that in this post.

There is so much to do with this story. I'm talking editing wise. I need to rewrite most of it, now that I know the real relationship between the characters. I also need to rewrite most of it because there's a lot of looking:

Talitha looked at David. He looked at her, then at Isaac. Talitha looked at Isaac, who wasn't looking at anyone.

In the spirit of NaNoWriMo, we call this word padding. Ugh.

So you can see why it's hard for me to read. And if I can't read it, I can't edit it.

Enter discouragement.

After reading a page or two, I quickly exit out of the program, and walk away from the computer, feeling as though this story isn't as awesome as I think and know it is. It will never be what as it is in my head: a best-seller, soon to be a movie. I just want it to be good enough to be publishable, really.

It's been eight months since I finished it. If I remember correctly, about five pages have notes on them. I can't quite get past this next part. Or maybe I just don't have the courage to.

When you get discouraged, you diss your courage to try.

I won't sit here and tell you to keep going, to keep trying, to keep doing. Because I'm not. What I will say is, every day I feel more and more like I'm getting to the point of getting there. I did write one note on it yesterday. It was a small note, but it was a start.

Now, how did I get here? Time. Patience. Building up my confidence by writing other things. Also, getting annoyed at the fact that I haven't gotten there yet.

It's ok, we'll get there. We will.